This is Goodbye
by hetalia-baltics
Summary: Just an EstLiet breakup story to cope with, well... an EstLiet breakup story ;-; It's a keyboard-vomit one-shot, but feel free to read if you want.


_This is one of the many one-shots I wrote to cope with my OTP breaking up on my tumblr rp account. They're really NOT good-quality writing at all, and they're kind of embarrassing little angsty nothings, but I was asked to post one so here it is. I'll probably take it down eventually and continue with the two that went inactive since my life got busier. Until then, here you go. Sorry for this 1000 word keyboard vomit._

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Pounding footsteps broke uncanny silence as the blonde male began to pace heavily, blue eyes in flames behind the lenses of his glasses. The fire reflected anger, betrayal, and distrust: three things that were extremely uncommon in him. His piercing gaze never left that of his old friend, who was staring back at him with shock and almost a bit of fear. He wasn't acting like himself at all… The brunette took a step toward his friend, who in response stopped pacing altogether and directed his full attention at him.

"Eduard…" Toris didn't even know what to say or how to say it; Eduard wasn't behaving like Eduard at all. The only thing that he could come up with in conclusion to this behavior was perhaps a result of the breakup that occurred just a couple weeks ago. If this were the case, then things would surely get better soon. He had to get over the breakup eventually; it was for the best. The relationship between the two was toxic if nothing else: Eduard was constantly stressing himself out to try and keep Toris happy, and always seemed to end up dissatisfied in the long run.

Eduard stood completely still, waiting for the older male to say something. It didn't seem like he was going to. "You know what this is about," he mumbled in almost a monotonous voice. Indeed he was referring to the breakup. It struck him a lot harder than it seemed to hit Toris. Really, over all else, he didn't understand why the other had called off their relationship in the first place. They were fine. It was true that they had a few scattered disagreements, but that is true to all couples. Their relationship was so strong, and it got cut off completely out of nowhere.

"I do," Toris finally replied, trying to read the other's still rather frightening expression. "But there's nothing on that topic that we have to discuss. What's done is done. I am not trying to break away from you completely. We can still be friends. In fact, I would prefer it…"

Eduard shook his head, turning completely away from Toris for a moment while he was listening to these words. "Teil on vale arusaam." Hands began to tremble as he fixed his eyes on the window instead of the other person in the room. "You're wrong. There is something to talk about. We've been over this three times, Toris. Three times. You've never given me a proper response. That's what you always do; you leave me in the dark. Just let me see this one time. At least then I'll stop staying up all night wondering." He turned around sharply and took a few steps toward the brunette, startling him enough to make him back into the wall. "Why?"

"Why?" Toris repeated. Of course he had his reasoning, but no reply that he gave would be enough to satisfy Eduard, especially now. "Why what?"

"God dammit, Toris! You KNOW 'why what'!" Had Toris known the severity of the situation, he would have replied much more carefully. He was oblivious to how deeply wounded his former partner was. Eduard had been bending under emotional pressure from other aspects of his life, and the destruction of his most precious relationship broke him beyond repair.

"Eduard, calm down…"

"No! Don't tell me to 'calm down'! Tell me why you left! I thought we were fine! What did I ever do to you?" The flame in the Estonian's eyes was replaced with tears that threatened to fall as he stared expectantly at his ex. "What did I do besides love you?"

"You didn't do anything," Toris replied. He took a cautious step toward Eduard, trying to decide on the best way to console him. "I already told you this, and there is nothing more to tell. It is not you. I couldn't make you happy, and you deserve to be…"

Eduard let out an exasperated sigh, turning his back toward the brunette and burying his face in his hands. "Do I look happy to you? What, you think you liberated me? You threw me away. I'm as disposable to you as I am to everyone else, aren't I?"

"No, Eduard…"

"I'm not saying you've had it good, Liet, but you don't know what it's like being me. You have no idea what I've been through." He wiped a couple of tears from the corners of his eyes before they had a chance to trickle down his cheeks. "You may be small now, but you were a great European power once. Meanwhile I was being passed around like a servant. I was constantly owned by Denmark or Sweden or Germany or Russia… even you and Poland at one point. And by the way, my family disowned me too after they were done with me, so don't think this is the first time—"

"Stop." Toris stepped forward and put his hands on Eduard's shoulders, turning him around so they were face to face again. "Our pasts have nothing to do with this. I'm trying to give you what's best for you; don't turn that into a lecture about the way things used to be." Now Toris was the angry one, though he was trying his best not to express it. The fact that Eduard implied he was lucky made his blood boil. It was proof that the Estonian knew nothing about him. "Up until we became Russia's subordinates, our lives were never comparable. I'm sorry that you never had power, Eduard, but I don't think you know what it's like to have everything you could have ever wished for and then lose it all."

"Ha…" Eduard closed his eyes tightly, finally letting a few tears escape before he slowly opened his eyes again to meet Lithuania's green ones. He opened his mouth to reply, but it was difficult to find the words. Instead, he took a moment to appreciate this closeness. It was in a moment of tension, but he still missed this. He placed his hands gingerly on either side of the Lithuanian's face, taking in every detail of the beautiful young man. The unconditional love that Eduard felt for him never faded, even now... He leaned closer when Toris didn't object, until their lips were an inch apart. _He is not yours. You gave yourself to him but he never felt the same. _Hesitating in this mental battle with himself, Eduard sighed and drew back slowly, swallowing back the pain of this sick addiction.

'I don't think you know what it's like to have everything you could have ever wished for and then lose it all'. How ironic of Toris to suggest such a thing. Running his fingers through his hair, Eduard turned and walked toward the door, with no plans to ever return. He snuck one last glance over his shoulder at the man who used to be his lover and best friend: everything he ever wished for…

"I do now," he whispered, just loud enough for Toris to hear. He closed the door slowly, leaning against it as he sank to the ground. The only sound that could be heard from inside was a light thud as Toris dropped to his knees, struck hard by Eduard's last three words. Finally, two seconds too late, everything made sense.


End file.
